


i control nothing

by vacationer



Series: this slutty mormon boy gave me a case of the gay [2]
Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drugs, M/M, Making Out, POV First Person, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-15 00:50:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11794992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vacationer/pseuds/vacationer
Summary: This all feels so different.





	i control nothing

**Author's Note:**

> whoooo brendon finally realizes hes gay! some nice kissing to led zeppelin

We’re just looking at each other. That’s it. 

The room is dark save a large lava lamp by Spencer’s kit, and a blacklight on the wall behind Brendon, but we’ve adjusted. I can still see him.

My arm is falling asleep, bent under my head, but I can’t really be bothered to move it. My thoughts get lost in waves, but his gaze is keeping me grounded. I feel like my blinking is out of sync. My suspicion is confirmed when he laughs at me, and I feel myself smile back. I control nothing I do when I’m around him. 

He scoots closer, inching on his side, arm laid out above his head. This is so utterly uncomfortable, but the strain we smoked isn’t really allowing us to do much else but lay on the floor. He reaches out his hand, and my heart jumps in my chest. He doesn’t say a word as he lays his fingers on my brow. I don’t blink. The weight of his touch drags down to my eyelids, feather light, and I close them. I can feel his fingers against my lashes. There’s the sound of movement, and he pulls his hand away, but I don’t look. 

I hear him laugh again, closer now, but I don’t look. I’m afraid I’ll wake up if I open them.

I’m sure I’ve hallucinated his breath against my mouth. I’m sure I’ve imagined the feeling of his lips pressed to mine. I’m sure I’m dreaming when I open my eyes to his. Warm, and dark, my heart is beating out of my chest. He’s kissing me again, soft, and slow, all awkward angles from our position. 

I feel frozen, as he moves, pulling himself up. I roll onto my back, he places one hand next to my head, my chest feeling hot where he rests the other, my ribcage simmering where he’s leaning against me. I feel myself move up to meet his lips. I control nothing I do when I’m around him.

Our lips are dry, but our mouths slot together, and I can taste stale weed and cherry soda. 

The muscles of my forearms are knotting, and I can imagine he feels just as uncomfortable, as we kiss on the floor of the basement. I move away, feeling remorseful at the look of confusion on his face, but I pull him up towards the couch, much too far away for my liking.

I think my hands are shaking, as I help his shirt over his head, and grab his bare waist, pulling him down onto my lap as I fall back onto the couch. He pushes my hair away from my face, and we just look into each other’s eyes. I’ve never felt like this before. I’ve never been turned on in a way like this. I’ve never felt the way I do when I’m around him. 

I lean forward, and press my mouth to his collarbone, with each kiss up his neck, he melts a little more into my touch. His pulse is rapid under my lips. Biting down on the skin where his jaw meets his neck, he lets out the the smallest moan, and I swear my heart skips a beat. Realization draws over me, I’m kissing Brendon. We’ve never kissed before. I made him moan. I’m half hard already, and we’ve barely even kissed.

He focuses on the buttons of my shirt, laughing as he fumbles, I help, and he pushes it off my shoulders. Reaching a hand behind his neck, I pull him down, and the force I intended is lost with languid movements from our high. Everything is fuzzy, everything is drawn out. I bite down on his lip, thick between my teeth, and he makes a needy sound at the back of his throat. No Quarter is inaudible behind the rush of blood in my ears.

He dips his tongue into my mouth as soon as I let go of his lip, and it shocks me like a spark. The forwardness of everything he’s doing. He kissed me. He licked into my mouth. He rolls his hips against mine, and it’s something else. Something fucking else. 

He pulls away to catch his breath, and I can see his lips shiny with spit, swollen from kissing, eyes heavily lidded. My cock twitches in my jeans. He places a hand in my hair and the other on my jaw, leaning in again, our tongues sliding against each other. I’m so hard for the amount of time we’ve been kissing.

He’s doing something wild to me, as his fingers tangle into my hair, my hands grip his hips and I pull him closer. I want to get his pants off, but I’m not going to push anything. I’m letting him make the speed. Place the kisses. I’m not going to push this any faster than it needs to go. I control nothing when I’m around him.


End file.
